My writing is pup-approved.

The New Yorker
If Corporations, Rather Than the Corporatized U.S. Health-Care System, Handled Childbirth

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
An Open Invitation to Touch My Pregnant Belly

You Have Been Damned to Attend Cindy’s Virtual Nail Polish Party for All of Eternity

Dress Code Policies to Ensure Your Employer Retains Professionalism While Knowing All About Your Genitals

Introvert, Dear
10 Things Introverts Wish Were Real in Order to Escape Social Situations

Weekly Humorist
Your Luggage Is Not Lost; It’s On a Journey of Its Own Choosing

How Romeo and Juliet Would Have Ended if Written By Children’s Authors

The Belladonna Comedy
Taming The Wild Copier In The Teachers’ Lounge

An Apology from the Owner of “Dining in the Abyss”: the Sensory Deprivation Restaurant

The Broadway Beat
Fantine Actress Claims Costume’s Barbecue Sauce Stain is Character Choice

Ryan Murphy Only One Broadway Star Away From “American Horror Story” Bingo

Contrived Metaphors From My Novel About Seasonal Depression

7 Rejected Hallmark Rom-Coms for Easter

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Mantras for First-Year Teachers, Explained by a Guy Who is Trying Not to Drown

Yoga for Non-Confrontational People Who Need to Set Boundaries

Points in Case
My Child Is Perfect, Even Though He’s a Venomous Gila Monster

This Fall, I’m Going Balls to the Wall with Flannel